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One morning, Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington. He lives in D.C and his name is Jeff.”
I pretty much had enough of my dog chewing up my shoes and pooping on every rug in the house, it’s really beyond me why he wouldn’t just take a dump on the hardwood floors as they’re much easier to clean up. Add to that the fact that he can’t do any tricks, not even sit. In fact, when I asked him to sit he’d take a dump on the carpet.
Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf when one one of them commented on how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed - and without an argument, go directly to the golf course to meet his buddies for 18 holes. All three of his friends unanimously agree, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning!”
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. |
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